Tyrese Gibson is a douche

Dear Tyrese Gibson,

How are you? I’m doing well. Pop’s hip is acting up again, but you know him, always tinkering away on his truck. Anyway, there is something that we need to talk about. Before game five of the Western Division finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and Denver Nuggets, you sang the National Anthem. Good for you! I’m so happy for you! That must be such a great feeling to get asked to honor our great country in front of millions of fans around the world. If only I had a singing voice (or a set of abs like yours, *winkies!*), I would LOVE to sing the anthem in front of a packed house, especially with Memorial Day being earlier this week.

Transformers, bitch! I do what I want!

But in all seriousness, and I hate to be this guy, believe me, but you effed up, Tyrese. You effed up goooooood. You see, the lyrics to your National Anthem (which honors our country, by the way) are not to be toyed with. I know that it’s cute to change a word around to pander to the crowd, but the reality is that a lot of people died for this country. And for you.

So when you changed “And our flag was still there…” to “And our Lakers were still there…”, I was offended. As was a lot of other people. And so they should be. I don’t care that you’re from California, or that you’re a Lakers fan, or that you think that your precious basketball team is bigger than our flag. The Los Angeles Lakers mean FAR, FAR LESS to this country than the National Anthem. And I mean far less. Like, they mean as much to this country compared to the National Anthem (see, the word “nation” is right in there) as a single grain of sand means to the ghost of the Lochness Monster.

So get it straight, Tyrese, you owe a lot of people an apology. You can start with every single person who has ever died for The United States of America, THE SAME COUNTRY that provided you with all of these great opportunities, including the one where you sang the National Anthem.

And after you’re done apologizing to them, you can apologize to everyone else for this egregious act. And it was egregious, Tyrese. You are not bigger than the National Anthem. Neither are your precious Lakers. It’s an EFFING basketball game, T. A game. A game that has no outcome that matters to anyone except fans. Is this really that important that you would need to change the lyrics to honor a basketball team? Do yourself a favor and take a long, hard look in the mirror. Use your head. Maybe all those flashbulbs going off in your eyes hurt your brain or something, but this is seriously inexcusable.

Yes, there is such a thing as free speech in this country, and I completely support that. And I support you wanting to practice your free speech. I do, really. However, I am practicing my free speech by calling you a massive douche.