As I was perusing the internets yesterday, I happened onto the “Yahoo! Answers” site, hoping to find out the real truth behind Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. (I secretly maintain that they are lovers) What I found was even more disturbing.
“Where can I find dirt bike boots for my 2 year old?”
At first glance, this question appears to be innocuous in nature, as a mother is just trying to well equip her child for the rigors the dirt biking life style. Except that you read it again, and you realize she is shopping for her two year old kid. That’s right: Two. Years. Old. If the kid was a Basset Hound, that’d be fine. But it’s not a Basset Hound, it’s an infant. And the mother wants to buy dirtbike boots. Presumably for dirtbike riding.
So I took it upon myself to answer the question.
Where can you find them? Where can you find them? Have you tried looking next to the Drano and sleeping pills? In the aisle with EVERYTHING ELSE THAT MAKES YOU A HORRIBLE MOTHER.
What the eff, seriously? You want to buy dirt bike boots for an infant? Assuming that they aren’t just for fashion, and if they are, feel free to disregard this, but why on earth would you buy dirt bike boots for a two-year-old? I can only connect the dots and conclude that want your child to look cool out on the dirt bike track with the other babies. Except that no other person on the planet could be as stupid as you are for allowing your kid to ride a dirt bike. And if other parents did let their two-year olds ride dirtbikes, there should be a support group for all you idiots, and you should all be sterilized immediately, because we can’t allow you to create any more children for you to eff up. Really, he is two years old! Most Every single two year old in the world requires daily care, and you want them to ride a dirtbike? Do you change their diaper before or after they crash through the bay window?
Of course, you might say “Oh, but he wants to ride a dirt bike, I’m not making him!” When I was two, I wanted to make snowmen out of my poop. So it’s safe to assume that a two-year olds brain isn’t fully developed to the point where they can decide whether or not they want to take up motorsports.
But that’s one of the problems; no one wants to be the “mean parent” anymore. It’s all about being a buddy and not about being a parent.
Parents, stop being friends to your kids and letting them do whatever they want. It’s time to start parenting and telling your kids what’s best for them, not asking them. Instead of giving them carte blanche whenever they ask for something, try saying “No” a handful of times. The trick to being a good parent is not to give them whatever they want, it’s about giving them what they need. They aren’t going to love you anymore because you bought them a dirtbike. It’s going to pay dividends in the future when they are raising their own kids that way. The last thing this country needs is yet another generation of spoiled kids whose parents couldn’t say no.
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Tags: Dirt bikes · Stupid Parents · Stupid people8 Comments
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[...] Stupid Parents Who buys dirt bike boots for a two year old? [...]
A large stinking load of crap from someone with elitist leanings that draws mullets on stick figures. Did the cartoon make you feel extra superior?
It’s a pair of BOOTS. It’s clothes LIKE others in his family are wearing. At times I went camping with my uncle and his family. His teen kids were much better at ATV and dirt bike than I ever got to be. His youngest, dressed like his brother and sister, rode his Big Wheel around the camp site making “BRRRMMMM!” noises.
Get a grip. Just because a family has a hobby yoyu don’t approve of doesn’t make them a bad parent,or even a mullet-wearing hick.
Beregond, thanks for reading. To address your comments:
“Assuming that they aren’t just for fashion, and if they are, feel free to disregard this…”
Like I said, if the mother just wants her two-year old to look sporty, then to each his own. Buy as many dirtbike boots as your heart desires.
Also, do mullets automatically make someone a hick? Remember, you said that, not me.
Again, thanks for reading.
I said it? The snaggle-toothed figure with a mullet abusing her baby with biker boots in the cartoon says it. The post by itself wouldn’t have pushed my buttons so badly.
So are you trying to imply that all dirt biker moms are annerexic? And they feed there 2 year olds the same way?
Do women get mullets?
Great post, I appriciate the disclaimer at the front(if this is for fashion …) or I would have had to come up with a cleaver way to call you names and I haven’t had my coffee yet so that would have been tough.
BlackWolf
No need to get all up in arms…..he is simply stating that any mother who would put her child in dirt bike boots (with the intention of letting him/her ride a dirt bike) should be checked out by a psychiatrist because its dangerous and irresponsible!!! For god sakes they are just stick figures!!!
I have an almost two year old brother. He cannot say my name yet, all he can get out is Eww. I would say he is not quite qualified to ride a dirt bike just yet.