I was walking down the sidewalk today, and a group of women approached me, walking four-wide. And did these aging harpies bother to move out of the way so that I could get by without having to alter my direction? NO! They held their line like a Spartan Phalanx during the Battle of Thermopylae. Seriously, why do people do that? Are they claiming the narrow sidewalk as their domain? Did they plant a flag in the name of inconsiderate shrews? Is no one allowed to share the precious concrete that they bless with their Easy Spirits and old lady jeans?
One of the women had on a long yellow coat that looked like it was made of the same material that they use to cover the infield during a rain delay, and she smelled of bourbon and Misty Menthol 120s. Like a banana coated in booze and dipped in an ashtray.
That’s one of my biggest pet peeves; people who are completely inconsiderate of others. Some do it on purpose, but most do it out of ignorance, unaware of the fact that others exist. These are the same people who cross the street when the light turns green, and change lanes without signaling, and then have the nerve to look surprised when you honk at them.
Ugh. Stupid, inconsiderate people.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have a banana dipped in booze.
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Tags: harpies · Stupid people3 Comments
Bananas dipped in booze are delicious. They are called bananas foster and are served with icecream. The dipped in cigarette ashes doesn’t sound quite as appealing though. But when you think about it, alcohol really does have the monopoly on substance being used when working with food, I’d say with opiates in 2nd (I’m talking poppy seeds, not general ones like chocolate and cheese) and 3rd being pot…pot brownies.
But anyway. I can relate to your rage. I feel like I am always the one who has to move. So some days I play inconsiderate asshole and just refuse to even do the shoulder turn, just to see who people do. Since I am 6′3″ and 220lbs this is a fun game. I usually end up almost trampling some people and knocking a few on their ass.
I think you’ve been hanging out with me too long, my temper’s wearing off on you. I don’t know why you don’t just take my advice: the next time someone doesn’t accommodate you on a shared sidewalk, kick them in the shin. If enough people would do this, all the jerks in the world would be conditioned to be more considerate, or wear shin guards…
“Is no one allowed to share the precious concrete that they bless with their Easy Spirits and old lady jeans?”
AMAZING.