Miley Cyrus: Serial Offender

Hannah Montana is at it again. This time, she isn’t posing in semi-pornographic pictures with her father, but something far more sinister. This photo has surfaced, in which she and her friends were slanting her eyes, a gesture that is widely viewed as offensive to the Asian culture.

Is it the worst thing that a kid could do? No, but it certainly wasn’t in great taste. However, Miley has since apologized for her transgression, which seems to be all she does anymore.

Whatever. But that isn’t where the story takes a turn for the absurd.

Lucy Kim, a supposedly sane person, filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of all the Asian Pacific Islanders that currently reside in the Los Angeles area. The amount of said lawsuit? 4 billion dollars.

Seriously? She wants 4 billion? What about the Asian Pacific Islanders that don’t live in the L.A. area? Don’t they get a taste of this delecious money pie? Tsk tsk tsk, it seems that Miley offended more than just the residents of the greater Southern California area.

So, in honor of this lawsuit, I present you with 10 other groups of people who are more deserving of that cool, cool cash.

1. White guys – That’s right, honkys. Where is your piece of the pie for all the small penis jokes that you’ve had to endure? Or the jokes about how you’re uncoordinated or bad dancers? Sure, we may be poorly equipped and unhip, but do we need to keep being reminded about it? It’s been too long, whitey.

2. Pittsburgh Pirate fans – 16 losing seasons in a row for a city that always smells like someone just took a leak into a plate of Indian food. Also, the other professional sports team just won it’s record 6th SuperBowl.

3. Red-Heads – I don’t know, but I bet that hearing “I’ll beat you like a red-headed step child” hasn’t made things easy. Also, they share a genetic trait with Lindsay Lohan and Danny Bonaduce.

4. This kid.

5. Anyone who has ever seen “Good Luck Chuck.” Actually, how about anyone who has ever seen any Jessica Alba movie where she kept her clothes on. Which would be all of them. I swear that Honey is on at least twice a week. Someone had to perform a ton of fellatio for that to happen.

6. Anyone who ever owned a pair of Zubaz – No, man. Zebra striped pants are totally cool!

7. Doctors - They’ve had to suffer through countless comparisons to McDreamy or McSexy and everyone else on the cast of the God-forsaken Grey’s Anatomy.

8. Any kid who has ever come down the stairs on Christmas morning to a gigantic box that could be filled will all sorts of wonderous toys – only to find that mom and dad pulled the “small gift in the big box” prank. They should be shot for that.

9. Anyone who has ever seen Larry King naked.

10. Me, for having to write this stupid piece because of some stupid lawsuit over something that stupid Miley Cyrus stupid stupid stupddddddddd. Oh, I just broke my brain.

The Angry Rant

Miley Cyrus: Serial Offender

February 12th, 2009 by The Angry Rant

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