Cash, Credit or Baby?

A few weeks ago, Nadya Suleman, an unemployed, single mother of six, gave birth to to octuplets after receiving fertilization treatments. Since we’ve heard this all before, I’ll get right to the details: three of her other six kids are disabled, there is no father, and she set up a website so that people could donate money to help her pay for her brood, despite the fact that she is receiving food stamps and other monies for her first six. Oh, and there is a good chance that she is balls-crazy insane.

Even more recently, it was reported that a 13-year-old boy from the UK fathered a child with a 15-year-old girl. As it turns out, two other teenage boys came forward, claiming that they were the father. Even more disturbing is the recent report that the family of the mother may have chosen the 13-year-old as the patsy father to cash in on the media deals that are sure to roll their way.

So, we have a mother who shouldn’t have had any kids giving birth to eight more through the use of shady medical practices, and a 15-year-old girl who appears to be prostituting herself to a payday.
So, it’s fair to say that they both had this coming.

These kids should be taken away from these mothers immediately. Why? Because they are nothing but petty crooks. The octo-mom hired a publicist to handle the inquiries, and reportedly wanted 1.2 million dollars to appear on Oprah. And for what? You gave birth, big deal. Can I get paid for dropping a deuce? NO, then why should you get paid for giving birth, why should you get paid for your own stupidity?

Their pea-sized brains are using their children for profit, and you stupid media types are rewarding them! And when little Johnny and Suzie turn 14, they can have kids too, because they are going to get loads of money for doing nothing – NOTHING of value to the society or to their own life. I don’t understand the desire to throw money at these people for having kids. That only perpetuates the notion that babies = $$$$$$, except that all those babies are going to be neglected because mommy is too busy getting a facial because she has to appear on The Today Show and talk about how lucky she is.

And what about the 15- year-old? She is getting rewarded for being a whore, essentially. Apparently, she nailed this 13-year-old, and now other kids are coming forward to say that they are the father! It sounds like this broad wanted to get knocked up, and then blame it all on her little patsy 13-year old “lover,” so that they could reap the benefits of a culture that is so effed up, that they REWARD this sort of behavior. George Washington would be spinning in his grave right now if he wasn’t too busying partying with Ghandi and Mussolinni. (Wrap your mind around that one.)

We need to slap these people across the face (metaphorically speaking, of course), and if we, as a culture, continue to throw money at these idiots, then this is going to keep happening, and the cycle is going to perpetuate itself again and again and again. Seriously, what is stopping a teenager from doing that? They see that there is money to be made, so why not? Except that they are stupid, and they don’t understand the concept of “media saturation.” So it’s just one more child that the parents don’t care for because they are selfish people.

And really, what is our obsession with babies that don’t belong to us? “Ugggh Brangelina had another baby! Oh my God! What? That’s crazy!” Here’s a thought: CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN BABY. That way, when they don’t turn out to be a drug bag or a criminal, we can take solace in the fact that it just takes a little bit of effort to raise a kid. Also, children are not accessories or conversation pieces to your high society friends. Good for you, you adopted a kid! Awesome. Why don’t you take that energy that you are wasting telling us that and go play catch with them. Or help them with their homework. Or, here’s a thought, JUST TELL THEM THAT YOU LOVE THEM. It’s not that hard (that’s what she said) to be a parent. I know I rail about this, a TON, but it needs to be said because it keeps on happening. In 20 years, when we are overrun with stupid people, I’m going to point the finger at every one of you parents who are more concerned with your Blackberry than your kid’s piano recital. Guess what? I’m well adjusted, I’m content, and most importantly, I’m not a complete eff up! Why? Because my parents cared. They cared about me and my siblings. And I’ll care about my kids, and they to theirs, and so on.

The point is, we are living in a society now where everyone wants to get paid, not for excelling, but for being astoundingly mediocre. The octomom is going to get paid for having MORE kids, and now, this 15 year old mattress pad is getting paid for being nothing more than a petty whore (rhyme!). There is no motivation to do the right, and smart thing anymore. “We want to pay 2 million dollars for your story!” You know what the rest of us, sane people want? We want to pay 2 million to have all you idiots sterilized.

America, England, and whoever else wants to pay these people – Don’t, please don’t. Childbirth is a beautiful thing, they are life affirming moments in a person’s life, and they should be treated as such, with respect and reverence, because there is nothing like cradling in your arms the child that you and your loved one created for no other reason than love. Not love of money, or love of fame, but LOVE, which is something that is escaping us anymore. It’s all about money, and it’s all about our 15 minutes. Well, here’s your 15 minutes, idiots. Congratulations, you have both proven to be liars and thieves. And those little bundles of joy? Don’t be surprised when they end up in jail or WORSE because his parents were too effing stupid.

But that’s just me.